Roll For Initiative
by Sith Droideka
Summary: Athena ropes Phoenix, Apollo, Trucy, Pearl, Blackquill, Klavier, Edgeworth, and Kay into playing Dungeons and Dragons. That's about it.


**I know I should be working on Sleeping Turnabout right now but I saw this super-old request for this on the kink meme, and I've been thinking about this for a while, so hey.**

**And yes, I do play Dungeons and Dragons myself. In fact, my DM was a huge help in this fic.**

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><p>Dungeons and Dragons.<p>

Sure. Why not. It was Athena's idea, and hey, what could possibly go wrong? So Phoenix had agreed to let her commandeer the office for one night. All the employees of Wright Anything Agency were obliged to play, she said, and Trucy invited Pearl along… then, as it turned out, Athena had also demanded that certain rival prosecutors come along, and Edgeworth had brought his assistant.

So here they were. Apollo, Trucy, Pearl, Phoenix himself, Edgeworth, Kay, Klavier, and Blackquill all sitting around a table, at the head of which sat Athena, with a folder propped up in front of her. In front of each player were a few papers - a character sheet - and some dice. To Phoenix's marginal surprise, the character sheets of Blackquill, Kay, Trucy, and even _Edgeworth_ were already filled out. They had apparently played before. (And judging by Athena and Blackquill's bickering, Athena had slashed the veteran character's levels back down to one in order to fit in with the rest of the 'guild'.)

Phoenix had no idea what was going on.

"Whatever," Athena snapped at Blackquill, then turned back to the rest of the group and clapped her hands together, "okay, guys, raise your hands if you've never played D-n-D before!"

Apollo, Phoenix, and Klavier dutifully raised their hands. Pearl sheepishly looked at her blank character sheet and muttered something about 'losing Zanne'.

"No problem," Athena said cheerfully, "looks like the first thing we need to do is make some characters! Everyone get out your dice!"

"And if we already have characters?" Kay said.

"I know! Let's bake something!" Trucy said, "we can eat it once we start playing!"

"Why not," Edgeworth said, and he, Trucy, and Kay disappeared into the kitchen. Blackquill stayed at the table silently. Phoenix wondered how long this was going to take.

_Three hours_ (and a few fresh tins of muffins) _later_, everyone was sitting back at the table. For what was surely not going to be the first time that night, Phoenix felt a little in over his head. Already he was thinking that if he heard the names of _any_ of the gods available to worship in the Dungeons and Dragons universe ever again, he was going to throw up.

"Now that everyone's settled," Athena said, like three hours of explaining every little thing about character creation hadn't dampened her mood at all, "why don't we go around and introduce ourselves? Our characters, I mean," she added, catching Apollo's confused expression. "Apollo, you start."

"Um," Apollo said, looking down at his newly-filled character sheet, "I'm… a dwarf barbarian named Heironeous." Phoenix twitched. "And I'm, um, looking to avenge the death of my… brother?"

"Cousin," Blackquill said, "you said cousin earlier."

"I'm looking to avenge the death of my cousin," Apollo amended, "by getting him arrested. Since my alignment is lawful good."

"Good enough," Athena said, "next!"

"The great and powerful Eusapia Vahista, dragonborn mage extraordinaire!" Trucy said, dramatically throwing her arms out, "chaotic evil! _I will burn everything you love to the ground!_"

"Ch-chaotic evil?" Phoenix sputtered.

"Yeah!" Trucy said, "it's the most fun alignment!"

"Yep," Athena said (Phoenix caught sight of Blackquill exaggeratedly rolling his eyes) "Okay, next!"

"My name's Zanne," Pearl said, shuffling her character sheet, "I'm a lawful good human cleric, so it's my job to make sure no one dies."

"Except for the bad guys," Trucy added, "who aren't me."

"_Human_?" Blackquill said in distaste, "of all the species to chose from, you chose human?"

"Humans are boring," Kay added.

"Next," Athena said before Pearl could defend herself, "that's you, Boss."

"Oh, yeah," Phoenix said, "so, I'm a, uh, dragonborn ranger named… Phoenix. Phoenix Vahista. Yeah. Lawful good," he added as an afterthought.

"Daddy, that's _my_ character's last name!" Trucy said at the same time Edgeworth said, "Of _course_ you would name your character after yourself."

"I couldn't think of anything," Phoenix said defensively.

"Eh, whatever," Trucy said, "I know! Phoenix can be Eusapia's daddy!"

"I don't think the ages work out," Athena said.

"Phoenix can be Eusapia's older brother!"

"Which means it's Phoenix's job to look after Eusapia, nein?" Klavier said, looking amused, "have fun with that."

"Okay, next," Athena said, pointing at Edgeworth.

"Suchiru Niboshi," Edgeworth started, but Pearl cut him off.

"Isn't that the secret identity of the Steel Samurai?" she said.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Edgeworth said, then continued: "tiefling, war-"

"I'm pretty sure that's the secret identity of the Steel Samurai," Trucy said.

"-lord, lawful neutral alignment."

"I am certain that that is, in fact, the secret identity of the Steel Samurai," Blackquill said.

"Pure coincidence, I assure you," Edgeworth said, unruffled, "anyway, as a warlord, I am assumed to be the leader of this guild."

"Unless anyone has any objections to this," Athena said. No one did. "Next! That's you, uh… actually, I don't think I've met you before."

"Kay Faraday!" Kay said, "I'm Mr. Edgeworth's assistant!"

"Part-time assistant," Edgeworth said.

"Hey, I'm a busy woman," Kay said.

"Okay," Athena said, "anyway, your character, por favor?"

"I'm a chaotic good halfling rogue named Tryn Baggins!" Kay said, "and you all might want to remember to roll perception checks any time you're alone with my character." She laughed.

"…Baggins?" Klavier said, raising an eyebrow, "am I the only one here who isn't a huge nerd?"

"You're playing Dungeons and Dragons with us, Prosecutor Gavin," Apollo said, rolling his eyes, "it is way too late to claim that you aren't a nerd."

"I know you're not allergic to first-name basises, Herr Forehead."

"I'll call you Klavier when you call me Apollo instead of 'Herr Forehead'."

"Besides," Kay said, ignoring the squabbling lawyers, "the Baggins thing was a joke. It's not like last names are necessary anyway."

"C'est vrai," Athena said, "okay, next!"

That would be Klavier. He flipped his hair and said, "I'm Crow Zyg, a half-elf bard. I'm neutral good, and all the ladies love me, of course. Seriously," he added, holding up his character sheet, "I have a 27 charisma stat."

"30," Edgeworth said, holding up his own character sheet. Klavier frowned.

"If you're a bard," Apollo said, "does that mean you're going to actually sing? As in, in real life?"

"Offensichtlich," Klavier said, grinning.

"'Obviously,'" Edgeworth translated in response to Apollo's confused look, which now turned into a scowl.

"Oh, goody!" Trucy said. Apollo scowled some more.

"And last but not least, Simon!" Athena said.

"I am a lawful evil elf named Jin Yuugami," Blackquill said, "and I am a samurai."

"He's an assassin," Athena said.

"I am a samurai."

"There's no such thing as a samurai class, Simon," Athena said, "the best you can do is assassin with sword proficiencies."

"I am a samurai."

"We get it," Phoenix said.

"Ja genau," Athena said, stuffing her face with a muffin, "looks like we're ready to start."

"Finally," Apollo groaned.

"So. Let's start out with… you are all in a tavern," Athena said…

_Kind of a seedy tavern. Not really the way Phoenix Vahista liked it, but his younger sister, Eusapia, seemed to enjoy it plenty. Especially since she had started chatting to a halfling named Tryn. They were plotting to start up one of those rigged gambling games, in order to cheat the other patrons out of their hard-earned gold and silver and copper. Phoenix wondered if he should stop them, but Eusapia had agreed to give her portion of the "wins" to Tryn since she was only in it for the thrill of ruining lives… and Tryn already said that she would donate at least half of her wins to the local pet shelter._

"Wait," Athena said, "I don't think Calinport has pet shelters."

"Then I'll use the money to found one," Kay said.

Athena pondered this for half a second, then said, "Fair enough."

_Phoenix, having nothing better to do, decided to join an elf and a tiefling at the bar. As soon as he sat down, the tiefling pointedly got up and shifted several stools down, all without breaking his conversation with the elf._

_ "Hey," Phoenix said, "what's your problem?"_

_ The tiefling - Suchiru - gave him a look that plainly said 'I don't even want to be _seen_ associating with a dragonborn, let alone actually interact with one'._

"Wait," Phoenix said, "what?"

Edgeworth sighed. "Dragonborn and tiefling are race enemies, Wright."

"Oh," Phoenix said. Had Athena mentioned anything like that? "Does that mean you won't let Trucy and I into your guild?"

"Don't worry," Edgeworth said with a smirk, "I am a reasonable tiefling. You two would just have to prove your use first."

_Phoenix turned away from the tiefling and instead tried to strike up a conversation with Jin, the elf. "Hi," he said, "nice night, isn't it?" The elf only grunted in response._

_ Okay. This was going nowhere. Phoenix decided to order a drink, but upon checking his bag, found that he had no money, not even a single copper. Tryn burst into a spontaneous bought of laughter. Sighing, Phoenix wandered off. He found a human and a dwarf sitting at one of the tables._

_ "So, um, Heironeous," the human, Zanne, said, "I really like your name."_

_ "Uh, thanks P- Zanne," Heironeous said._

_ "Heya," Phoenix said, walking up to them, "what's up?"_

_ "Nothing," Zanne said._

_ "Although I think there's something going on over there," Heironeous said, pointing over to where Eusapia and Tryn were. Phoenix looked over. Sure enough, the two of them had snared a certain half-elf, although he didn't seem to mind being conned out of his money. He was instead laying cheesy pick-up lines thickly on the two girls._

Phoenix raised an eyebrow at Klavier. Klavier shrugged.

_Phoenix, followed by Zanne and Heironeous, walked over to the half-elf. "Excuse me," he said, "but what do you think you're doing with my… er, little sister?"_

_ "Nothing," Crow said, flipping his hair and smiling, "after all, it's a free country, ist es nicht?"_

_ "Uh," Phoenix said._

"Roll a knowledge check to see if you know what language he's speaking!" Athena said, clapping her hands together.

"…I was not aware that German exists in the D-n-D universe," Blackquill said.

"We can pretend he's speaking, uh…" Athena reached over and grabbed Klavier's character sheet, then frowned, "wow, Prosecutor Gavin. I totally forgot how low your intelligence score is! You only speak Common!"

"…yes, and?" Klavier said.

"I'm guessing that means you should stop speaking German when you're in-character," Apollo said, smirking.

"…no problem," Klavier said confidently.

"Anyway," Athena said.

_"You should watch out for that one," Zanne said quietly, pointing at Eusapia, "she's not very nice."_

_ "Too right!" Eusapia said, then cast Could of Daggers on Crow._

"What," Klavier said loudly.

"And I got a nat-20, too," Trucy said brightly, then rolled a six-sided die, whistling.

"What," Klavier said again.

"14 damage," Athena said, looking over at Trucy's roll.

"What."

_Crow stepped back, shocked, then stepped forward again and attempted to slap Eusapia. Attempted being the key word here, since he accidentally hit Jin instead. Somehow._

"Hey!" Klavier protested, "he's on the other side of the room!"

"No damage, Simon," Athena said, ignoring Klavier.

"Fräulein Cykes!" Klavier said reproachfully.

"It's your own fault you rolled a one," Blackquill said.

_Jin got up from his seat at the bar and joined the little group, still not saying anything. While he glared at Crow, he had yet to actually make a move. A short while later, Suchiru also walked over, standing conspicuously apart from Phoenix and Eusapia but looking at the assembled group interestedly nonetheless._

_ "…well?" he said expectantly._

_ "W-Well what?" Crow said._

_ "Not you," Suchiru said, and addressed himself to Jin, "care to pay him back for that… impossible blow?"_

_ "I think," said Jin, "that the honor should go to the person whom he attempted to hit in the first place."_

_ Eusapia cackled, but Phoenix stepped between her and Crow._

_ "Hey," he said, "we shouldn't be fighting here."_

_ "Would you prefer to fight someplace else?" Suchiru said dangerously._

_ "Um," Phoenix said._

"Hey, Daddy, a little advice," Trucy whispered to Phoenix, "Uncle Edgeworth's character isn't really the type to settle things peacefully unless he thinks a fight won't end well for him."

"Huh," Phoenix said, "really?" He supposed it wasn't _that_ odd that Edgeworth's character should be so unlike him. He did seem to have the roleplaying skills for it, anyway.

_While everyone was watching Phoenix and Suchiru have a tense stare-down, Tryn climbed over the bar and started pilfering bottles of ale._

"So what do I do?" Phoenix whispered back, "if I get into a fight with him, he'd probably kill me. I have no idea what I'm doing."

"You can always try to talk your way out of it," Trucy said, "I mean, it's not like _Suchiru_ knows you don't know what you're doing."

"Hmm," Phoenix said, then asked Athena, "is it possible to bluff in this game?"

"Bien sur!" Athena said, "just roll a d-20!"

Phoenix picked up a twenty-sided die, shook it in his hand, and rolled. 19. He looked up at Edgeworth and smiled.

_"I don't think you want to get into a fight with me," Phoenix said._

_ "Really now?" Suchiru said._

_ "Yep," Phoenix said, "I'll have you know I'm a champion fighter. I can definitely kick your butt."_

_ "Really now?" Suchiru said again, his tone of voice much drier now._

_ "Do you not believe me?" Phoenix said challengingly. Suchiru shrugged. "Because I have been in plenty of fighting contests, and I have all sorts of medals! All you need to do is take one look at them and you'll know I'm someone to be afraid of!"_

_ "…do you have any of these medals with you?" Suchiru said._

_ "No, why would I?" Phoenix said._

_ Suchiru raised an eyebrow, then said, "very well. It's far too late to be getting into brawls anyhow."_

_ Meanwhile, Zanne had healed Crow. "Thanks, cutie," he said._

Which earned him another glare from Phoenix.

_"Well, as long as we're all here," Jin said, "you, dwarf. I believe I have heard of you."_

_ "You have?" Heironeous said._

_ "Yes. You are the vengeance-seeking dwarf, are you not?"_

_ "Oh, right," Heironeous said, "yeah, I'm looking for my brother's killer."_

_ "Cousin," Jin corrected._

_ "My cousins' killer," Heironeous said, "why, have you heard anything?"_

_ Jin gave an enigmatic smile. "Hmm," Suchiru said, "so there is a killer running free? Interesting."_

_ "Hey, we should hunt him down and kill him ourselves!" Tryn said, returning from where she was behind the bar, "for Heironeous' brother!"_

_ "Cousin," Jin said._

_ "Or we just hunt him down and kill him ourselves, for fun!" Eusapia said._

_ "…are you guys offering to help me?" Heironeous said._

_ "Yes!" Zanne, Tryn, Eusapia, Crow, and Phoenix said, but Suchiru and Jin both shook their heads._

_ "Come on," Tryn said, "let's do this - but we need you two, too!"_

_ "Your 'guild' is a complete loss without a proper leader," Jin said._

_ "And I refuse to join a guild with two _dragonborn_ in it," Suchiru said._

"Can you not be so stubborn for, like, three seconds," Phoenix muttered.

"I'm merely being in-character, Wright," Edgeworth replied.

_"Hey, what's going on over here?" a brown-haired human girl walked over. She appeared to be one of the tavern's patrons. Maybe. The tavern's barmaids didn't actually wear uniforms, so it was a little hard to tell-_

"Athena, focus," Apollo said.

"Right, sorry," Athena said.

_"Nothing," Phoenix said, bluffing again._

Three.

"Ooh," Trucy said, "that didn't go so well, Daddy."

_Phoenix's answer only made the human girl more suspicious. "You guys aren't doing anything illegal, are you?"_

_ "Uh… no?" Eusapia said._

_ "Hey, wait a minute!" the human girl said, grabbing the cards that Eusapia and Tryn had been using to scam the other customers, "this - this is _wrong_, I hope you know!"_

_ "I didn't know they were doing anything bad!" Zanne cried._

_ "None of us did!" Heironeous said, then muttered, "except maybe for Ph… Eusapia's older brother."_

_ "Huh? Did you say something?" the human girl said, turning to Heironeous, then her eyes widened, "ooooooh, hi. My name's Keylith!" She batted her eyelashes at Heironeous._

_ "Uh," Heironeous said, _"Athena, what the heck are you doing?"

"Shh!" Athena said, "it's all a part of the plan!"

"What plan?" Kay said.

_Crow sidled up to Keylith. "Hey, fr- baby. I'm pretty and you're cute. Together we'd be pretty cute!"_

_ The rest of the not-quite-official-yet guild reacted with various amounts of cringing._

Klavier rolled a five on his diplomacy check.

_"Ew," Keylith said, "what kind of girl do you take me for?" She slapped Crow. Crow attempted to back off, but she tackled him, knocking him into Eusapia, who tried to cast Magic Missile on him._

_ "Again?!" Crow yelled, but Eusapia's spell missed, instead flying past him, ricocheting off the bar, and hitting a random patron in the back. He slowly stood up and turned around towards the guild - a great bear of a man, and very unhappy looking at that._

_ "Who did that," he said in a very fake-sounding Russian accent._

_ Crow pointed at Eusapia, but everyone else pointed at him._

_ "Please don't hurt him!" Zanne pleaded. (Tryn stole the Russian accented man's bag.)_

_ "Oh, so you're all with him, then?" the man said, then cracked his knuckles._

"Okay, everyone, roll for initiative!" Athena shouted.

"_Thanks_, Gavin-dono," Blackquill said, grabbing his dice.

"I'm not the one who cast Magic Missile in a crowded tavern!" Klavier said indignantly, glaring at Trucy, who was unconcernedly scarfing down Cheetos.

Half an hour of frantic dice rolling (and a whole lot of yelling) later, _Crow was running down the streets of Calinport, closely followed by Zanne and Heironeous, then Tryn, Eusapia, and Phoenix, with Suchiru and Jin bringing up the rear._

_ "I can't believe you burned down the whole tavern!" Zanne yelled at Eusapia._

_ "It was tacky!" Eusapia yelled back._

_ "The police are after us now, aren't they," Phoenix said, "whatever happened to our 'lawful' alignments?!"_

_ "I don't want to be thrown in a dungeon!" Heironeous said, "I still need to catch my brother's killer!"_

_ "Cousin's killer," Jin corrected._

_ "Just shut up and run," Crow said._

_ "Wait," Suchiru said, "I have a plan."_

_ "A plan?" Tryn said, "for us?"_

_ "Yes," Suchiru said, "to the docks!"_

_ They all changed direction and ran towards the docks instead. They could hear the police running in parallel streets, but they managed to evade them, although there were some pretty close calls._

"Polly," Trucy said, with a serious stare, "if you roll an eleven again, I am seriously going to kill you."

"Hey, Athena let me get away with it," Apollo said.

"You arrive at the docks," Athena said, "alright, Suchiru, what's your plan?" Edgeworth smirked.

_"Of course," Suchiru said, "you see that boat over there? All we need to do is hijack it."_

_ "Sounds good to me!" Eusapia said._

_ "Yeah, it's for the greater good, after all," Tryn said._

_ "I just don't want to die," Crow said, "let's do it."_

_ "…but that's grand theft!" Heironeous protested._

_ "It can be easily covered up," Jin said._

_ "What do we need to do?" Phoenix said._

_ "Firstly, we need to drive the crew off of it," Suchiru said, then pointed at some nearby seagulls. "And you are a ranger, aren't you?"_

_ "…yes?"_

_ "Get those seagulls on the boat."_

"What kind of plan is this?" Phoenix whined, preparing to roll his dice.

"It's a better plan than attempting to bluff your opponent in the middle of an encounter," Edgeworth said.

"That was a completely legitimate strategy," Phoenix said.

"You're lucky we have a cleric in our party," Edgeworth said, glaring.

Pearl sipped her Mountain Dew with a very pleased expression.

"Just roll a 'handle animals' check, Boss," Athena said.

_"Okay, how am I supposed to get _on_ the boat?" Phoenix said. He had an armful of squawking, indignant seagulls, but so far none had decided to attack him. Yet._

_ "Simple. Who here is the strongest?" Suchiru said._

Papers shuffled.

_"I am," Heironeous said._

_ "Carry the dragonborn onto the boat," Suchiru said._

_ "…excuse me?"_

"Just roll, Apollo."

_Everyone else silently watched Phoenix silently sit on Heironeous' shoulders (it couldn't really be said that he climbed up on them, considering how short Heironeous was) without releasing any of his seagulls. Then Heironeous climbed slowly up the side of the ship as Phoenix attempted to shush the birds._

_ "This is ridiculous," Crow muttered._

_ "This is fun," Jin said somberly._

_ "Are you on the boat yet?" Suchiru asked._

_ "Eh, sure," Heironeous said._

_ "Now, Phoenix - _Phoenix was thrown for a short loop by Edgeworth using his first name, even if it _was_ roleplaying - _when I give the signal, throw those birds below-deck. Eusapia, when he does that, cast Thunderwave on the seagulls."_

_ "Okay!" Eusapia said. Hopefully she wouldn't burn down the ship with Phoenix and Heironeous were still on it. He wouldn't put it past her, honestly._

_ "Mr. Suchiru, when the crew members come running off the ship, can I heal them?" Zanne said, "since those birds are going to be really angry…"_

_ "As long as it doesn't slow us down, I don't see the problem," Suchiru said, "alright. Three… two… one… now!"_

Phoenix rolled a 20. Trucy and Pearl both cheered, then started rolling their own dice.

_Those in the guild not already on the ship stepped neatly to the side as the crew members exited, pursued by seagulls. Zanne attempted to heal the peck-marks on a few of them, but when Phoenix tossed down a rope, Tryn grabbed her and hauled her up to the ship._

_ "Is it empty?" Jin said._

_ "Yep!" Crow said, running back from where he had previously been checking the cabin._

_ "Good," Suchiru said, stepping up the wheel. "Cast off."_

"Wait. Who here actually knows how to pilot a boat?" Athena said.

"I already rolled an 18 on my knowledge check," Edgeworth said.

"…under?" Athena said.

"Sailing doesn't really fall under a category."

Athena shuffled some papers behind her folder, then looked up again. "Well, everyone also needs to roll a knowledge check, too, then. You need at least… um, three people also getting above a… 15, or else you're stuck at the dock."

_Fortunately, Crow, Jin, Eusapia, and Tryn all knew their way around a boat._

_ "Say goodbye to Calinport~" Crow sang, "Say goodbye, my baby~"_

_ "Oh, shut up," Heironeous said._

_ Phoenix looked at Suchiru. "So are we a team now?"_

_ Suchiru pressed his lips together silently for a second before saying, "I think you and your little sister have proved that even dragonborn can sometimes have their uses."_

_ "So we are a team now!" Zanne said, clapping her hands together, "a real guild!"_

_ "And it seems that Suchiru is our leader," Jin said._

_ "Naturally," Suchiru said._

_ "So what's our goal?" Tryn said, "helping the poor and needy?"_

_ "Perhaps," Suchiru said, "I certainly have my own reasons for allowing myself to be caught up in this madness…"_

_ "I vote we work towards the destruction of the world!" Eusapia said, "it'll be really exciting!"_

_ "Destruction?" Jin scoffed, "the world may stay intact. What it needs instead is a competent sovereign to rule over it with an iron fist…"_

_ "Um," Zanne said, "but what are _we_ doing? Most of us are good!"_

_ "I think we're searching for my brother's killer," Heironeous said, "so that we can bring them to justice."_

_ "…cousin's killer," Jin corrected._

_ "Yeah, that," Heironeous said._

_ "Sounds like a plan to me," said Phoenix._

_ "Yeah," Crow said, "besides, I think travel will do us all a lot of good."_

_ "Of course, then," Suchiru said._

_ There was a sudden clatter below-deck._

_ "What was that?" Suchiru said sharply._

_ "Hey, wait a minute!" Crow protested, "I already checked below-deck and there was nothing down there!"_

"You only got an 18 on your perception check," Athena reminded him.

"Which should be more than enough to tell if it's empty or not, ja?" Klavier said.

"Not if _I_ roll a 20," Athena said, grinning. Klavier groaned.

_"I'll go check below-deck," Phoenix volunteered._

_ "I'll go with him," Eusapia said._

_ "Zanne, you should go with them, too," Suchiru said, "whatever's down there may be dangerous."_

_ Phoenix, Eusapia, and Zanne and cautiously descended below. They peered carefully into the darkness, and Eusapia saw him first - a ginger-haired dwarf, who appeared to be at least slightly drunk._

_ "…hi," Phoenix said. The dwarf said nothing. "We're friendly," Phoenix said._

"You should probably roll for bluff," Athena said.

"But most of our guild is lawful good," Phoenix protested, "we _are_ friendly."

"Roll for diplomacy, anyway," Athena said, then shoved another muffin into her mouth.

_Something about Phoenix's tone of voice convinced the dwarf to trust him._

_ "Why don't you come up with us?" Zanne said. The dwarf nodded, and they took him back above-deck._

_ "Is this what was causing the clattering?" Crow said._

_ "He didn't even try to attack us," Eusapia said. She sounded almost disappointed._

_ "Who is he?" Suchiru said._

_ "Doesn't matter," the dwarf grunted, then looked directly at Heironeous. "You are Heironeous, the barbarian, correct?"_

_ "Y-Yeah, that's me," Heironeous said._

_ "The one with the dead brother?" the redheaded dwarf said._

_ "Cousin," Jin said._

_ "Yes, the Heironeous the barbarian with the dead cousin," Heironeous said, "I don't think I know you, though…?"_

_ "You don't," the dwarf said, "but I know you. Specifically, I knew your brother."_

_ "Cousin," Jin said. He seemed remarkably unweary of the constant need to make corrections._

_ "And I also knew your brother's killer," the dwarf said dramatically._

_ "What?!" everyone said (except for Jin. He just corrected it to "Cousin" again)._

Athena clapped her hands together, obviously pleased with herself. "Well, I guess that's where we'll end this session!"

"Wh- hey!" Apollo said, "OBJECTION!"

"Polly, my _ears_," Trucy said.

"I always leave things off on cliffhangers!" Athena said, "it's traditional!"

"It's to make sure we don't procrastinate on the next session," Blackquill said.

"When will that be?" Pearl said, biting her thumbnail.

"Um… tomorrow night?" Athena said cheerfully.

Edgeworth checked his watch. "At this point, I believe it would be more accurate to say 'tonight'."

"Dang, is it really that late?" Phoenix said, checking his own watch, then recoiling. _Three in the morning?!_ He looked back up. Only now did he notice how tired everyone looked - and how tired he felt. He suppressed a yawn, then said, "we can't do this every night…"

"I wanna see what happens next!" Kay said.

"Ja!" Klavier said, "Who is the orange-haired dwarf, and how does he know Heironeous' brother's killer?"

"…cousin," Blackquill said, "Heironeous' cousin was killed, not his brother."

"Whatever," Kay said.

* * *

><p><strong>Keylith was a cameo of my DM. And now for my favorite part: WHY I PICKED THE NAMES I DID!<strong>

**Heironeous is the name of the god of justice in the DnD universe. Eusapia is the name of a famous female magician (my DM gave that name suggestion) and Vahista is a term from Zoroastrianism, which I figured was appropriate because their "magi" eventually gave us the word for magic. Zanne is one of the suggested names for humans in the DnD book thing. Suchiru was my DM's idea - I think it's the Japanese word for steel, and Niboshi is Will Power's family name in Japanese. Tryn came from my DM, I suspect it's one of the suggested halfling names; Baggins is obviously a reference to Bilbo Baggins. Crow Zyg is the name of my own DnD character, who is an extremely flirty tiefling bard - and yes, Klavier is presenting his personality pretty accurately. And Jin Yuugami is Blackquill's name in Japanese.**

**Mind you, this is just a oneshot... for now. My DM expressed interest in taking over this fic, so after this, who knows? Maybe there will be more chapters uploaded, written by a different author~**


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